A regretful decision

About Us

This is our story of adoption through foster care. We hope you learn by what we went through.

We are Michael and Kathy.

For years, we had wanted children of our own. We had 6 children between us, from previous marriages. Two of mine, four of his. Yet we didn’t have one of our own. We love children, but couldn’t have a child biologically, so we decided to become foster parents. We would open our home to children in need. What better way to help.
At some point during the process, we decided to that we would adopt through the foster care system.
We went through all the required classes, had the home¬† study done and started looking for “our” child.
We found Abby through a national adoption website. We are in NH, and she was in MA. It would be an interstate adoption.
We loved her from the moment we saw her picture on August 19, 2009. We went through all the meetings, disclosures and visitations.
The more we got to know of her, the more we knew this was our daughter.
She moved in February 26, 2009.
She left us November 9, 2009…10 days before the adoption was to be final.
We made a decision to adopt through foster care. It is a decision we soulfully regret.

We went from being strong advocates for foster care, and adoption through foster care to the total opposite. If someone asks us about it now, we tell them to run, and run fast the other way.

This web site was originally planned as a way of helping children in foster care in finding parents. There are so many children that fall between the “cracks of the system”, we were hoping to work with an agency on helping older teens find a permanent home. It would be a website that they could hopefully find parents.

Now, the site is dedicated to helping other families who are considering adoption through foster care, think very carefully about what they are doing.

In our experience, most of the kids in the foster care system up for adoption, aren’t being prepared to be a part of a “normal” family home life. These kids aren’t being made ready to be part of a family. They aren’t ready for adoption.