Our adoption from foster care story is not the first to end in a heart wrenching manner, but we are hoping it will be one of the last. New Hampshire DCYF, and other states have to change the system. Until they change, more families will be torn apart.
This page will be for news and updates on our progress with getting a resolution with the New Hampshire DCYF offices.
I’m going to update my recommendation regarding adoption or foster care if you live in New Hampshire. Don’t do it. Before our story was just a warning of what to look out for. To anyone following this story, I think you will have reached the same conclusion that I have. We have been lied to more times than I care to count even after the adoption failed. We have been told that we can have copies of records that now we can not have copies of. Once they received what they wanted from us, its so sorry, too bad. I can’t tolerate dishonesty.
The other factor is the way the children are taught. They are taught to be a part of the system forever rather than to be taught to be adults. From what I’ve seen, this is widespread in all children from all states we had contact with. They’ve had a bad life only cuts is so far. When Johnny gets out into the real world, he’ll learn the hard way that you can’t hit people, call them names or fidget endlessly because you’ve had a hard life. A lot of people have had a hard life but don’t play the victim forever. They do this thing called growing up and maturing. These kids are made to be eternal kids.
Adoption is out for us right now. Someone find me a child that hasn’t been in the system and move me to another state and I’ll consider it again.
Finally got an email back from Jen at NH FAPA. The meeting will take place tonight, at our home. Attendees should be Kathy Companion, NHDCYF, Cathy Meister; NH Post Adoptions Services, Jen Guilemette from NH FAPA, and of course us.
Let’s see how much CYA they try to do on this one.
Our grief therapist told us that journalling might be a good source for helping us deal with our feelings. One way was to start this website. We wanted to make sure that NH DCYF doesn’t cause someone else this grief as well.
Another way I have decided to journal is through another blog I created. It not only helps me, it will be seen by millions of people all over the U.S., and other countries. While adoptusparents.org is what we went through, it is more fact based. Our other blog is called NEVER ADOPT. While this blog is has just gotten started, the NEVER ADOPT blog goes into more of our feelings about Abby, and everything that happened. It also gives reason why to NEVER to do Foster Care, and why NEVER to adopt from foster care.
This site is dedicated more to the facts of what is happening, or not happening as is the usual for NH DCYF.
It is 9 a.m., and still no call, or email from Jen Guilemette at NH FAPA about the meeting that is suppose to be taking place today. We don’t think that the meeting will take place, because they now know what are goals are.
We will be highly suprised if they actually do meet with us today. After all, DCYF doesn’t eat their own.
We kind of guessed it, but there has been no word since Catherine Meister called from Post Adoption Services. So, we still don’t know what NH Post Adoption Services are, or why we got the phone call from them.
We are also waiting to get a meeting date with DCYF, that is suppose to happen tomorrow. We have been communicating with Jen Guilemette from NH FAPA. In yesterday’s email, she asked us what our goal was since we “asked” for this meeting with DCYF. We didn’t ask for the meeting, we insisted on action being taken, and DCYF chose a meeting. Let’s make that point perfectly clear right now. We don’t think we’ll get much out of the meeting, because NH DCYF knows there is a problem, should have already dealt with it, and hasn’t. They should know, we will do what it takes to resolve this problem. In our opinion, Jen Kreiger and Gail Columbe should be fired for what they did to our family.
Catherine Meister from DCYF Post Adoption Services called this afternoon, and left a message for us. We must admit, we didn’t even know New Hampshire DCYF had post adoption services. Shouldn’t this have been something told to us by Jen Kreiger when we were going forward with the adoption? Shouldn’t Jen have told us that there is such an office, and there are services available to us after the adoption? Shouldn’t they (or someone) have called us by now to find out what went wrong? Why did it take a call to Governor Lynch’s office to light the fire under DCYF?
The world may never know.
We are suppose to be getting a phone call from someone else in the office. Let’s see how long it takes for them to call.
Taking their silence as a ‘they’ll go away’ move on NH DCYF’s part…we have decided to go to the news media. We have now contacted WMUR 9, WOKQ, and several others. We have formulated print ads, and will be sending those out next week. We are putting together a protest for people who are fed up with NH DCYF for any reason, and will be in Concord in April. A date has not been set for the protest.
NH DCYF, you will listen. You will have to.
Finally received an email from Jen Guilemette at NHFAPA. We are finally going to have that meeting that should have been months ago. It is suppose to be next week, and I hope they keep it.
The meeting will be with us, Jen, Kathy Companion, and possibly another DCYF staff. As long as that staff isn’t Jen Kreiger, then we’ll be there. If they want her there too, they going to have to think again. I have had enough of her to last a lifetime.
It has been more two weeks since we have heard anything from NHFAPA. It has been close to a week since we have heard anything from Governor Lynch’s office. We got an email from Senator Jean Shaheen, but it was a canned response. We don’t even know if anyone has really read it. Representative Guinta is also absent. We were hopeful that they would help us. Obviously not.
We are thinking maybe Governor Lynch should just be linched! How can you know there is a serious problem with a department in your state, and do nothing about it. Especially when it is stated on your website that changes will be made. Senator Shaheen should just give it up. She obviously doesn’t care about adoption problems. Representative Guinta, just a waste of time. That’s okay…my family and friends votes for you will be absent at the next election.
We are now in the process of putting together a NH State House Protest. If you would like to join us, please leave us a comment with a contact email. It is being put together for the end of March, and several people have already signed up to go.
NH politicians are going to listen.
Finally got to speak with Kerianna (hope I spelled that correctly) from the NH Governor’s office late today. She had just a few questions. We told her that all the information about our story was on the site. She said she would read through it, and get back to us. She sounds like the Governor would like to help, but let us see. We felt much of what she said was politcal talk to make the Governor sound good. The only way he will sound good to us, is when he is making an appointment to see us, and then actually doing what he states on his website…”Implement changes in how the Department of Health and Human Services does business”. That is THE only way he can do anything to help us, or anyone else in the future.