A regretful decision

Time Line of Events

August 5, 2009- Were licensed as NH foster parents.
August 19, 2009- Found Abby on national adoption website and submitted an inquiry. She was from MA.
August – November-Talked with several people about Abby; caseworkers, doctors, clinicians, and psychologists. With each new piece of information we received, we knew Abby belonged with us.
November 2009- After waiting an eternity, we went to full disclosure on Abby. We had already decided we would go forward long before this.
December 8, 2009- Met Abby for the first time. We were all a little nervous, but it went really well.
December 16, 2009- Abby came up with Gilbert for a day visit. She helped cut down our Christmas tree and decorate it. We were all so excited.
December 24, 2009- Abby came for a Christmas visit. It went so well, she wound up staying for the whole Christmas vacation. We brought her back after New Year’s.

January 1- February 25- We continued to visit every weekend. We would drive down to pick up Abby on Friday, and bring her back on Sunday. We had extended visits for 3 day weekends and holidays. We missed only one week of seeing her when we were sick.

January 7, 2010- Jennifer K. met with us to go over the ICPC paper work. Asked questions about Abby, her mental capacity, and other related items. We told her that the paper work was incorrect and that there was no way her IQ was 56. She basically told us that we needed to “accept her for what she was”. We tried to tell her what we were seeing from her, and now that we had gotten to know her better, we knew the number couldn’t be correct. We were also getting the same answer from experts such as special ed teachers, and people who knew that there was no way her IQ was that low. Jen fought hard to convince us otherwise.

January 19, 2010- Jennifer K. met Abby for the first time.

February 26, 2010-Abby moved in full time.

March- Don’t remember the date, or the event, but we called Jen for support. She was not in. We got her supervisor Gail C. We explained what was going on and her response was “what do you want us (me) to do about it”. A little support would have been nice. We knew then we were on our own.

April- We realized Kelly M, Abby’s therapist was not working. She was keeping everything secret from us. We were kept in the dark totally.

We had a round table discussion with Kelly and Jen. We were trying to improve communications. We told Kelly that we needed to know the things they were working on in order to make this work.

Wednesday, June 2- Visit from in home support. Told her about how Michael had tapped Abby on the face to get her to stop mouthing off. She told us that it didn’t need to be reported, so we did not.

Wednesday June 2- Abby reported to the school that Michael had slapped her. The school reported it. (This was an exaggeration of yesterday’s event.)

Wednesday, June 3- Jen called to tell us that “ I don’t think this is a good fit”, and she stated she would be taking action to remove Abby. She insinuated that the paperwork had already been filed to remove her, and we were devastated. This phone call was a real shock to us, considering everything was going well, and that just the day before we had spoken to the in home worker about what the paper work was like to proceed with the adoption.

After this phone call we rallied family, friends, teachers and the principal at the Elementary in our defense in keeping Abby here. They all knew how far Abby had come in only 6 months of knowing and living with us.

Jen later stated that she never said it. It was “just a miscommunication” on our part. There was no miscommunication. This is an outright lie from Jen and is major backpedaling to cover her obvious mistake. After this, we knew we could not trust Jen.

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